My cats vet visit

So it has been a month or two since I started to really blog on here...times have changed and life is so weird. So anyways I wanted to talk about my cats vet visit with my dog today....its been crazy since last year in my daily life of me just living but when she got sick last year I pulled out every necessity to get her healthy again. I was full of rage and anger cause this is my first cat and I didn't know what to do because I can't rely on anyone among me to help. So lets get into the teary eyed filled stuff...shes healthy...thank you god. But she has gain weight over the past year and is up to 16.8 lbs. I have been thinking about it a lot for a few months now till this first weigh in like shes getting ready for a fight with Mike Tyson this whole time. hahha but anyways ...here is the heartbreak. So for the past 6 years I've taken care of this little kitten with vet visits and always there with her ...her surgery to be spade when she was 5 months old with her under the drugs holding my arm while she slept it off during the nite. Taking in every moment with her because god this is my first cat I will not let you down...I have to show you I love also as you do for me. You have believed in me for a reason I will not let you down...then today's vet visit hits...I take her in and for 5 to 10 mins she has to be in a back room with a stranger to get shots to be more healthy for her yearly check up and I cant be there with her to calm her, to show her I'm there, and its ok. I almost lost it but I knew if I did I would get judged like everything else in my life. I don't know if sometimes that I should be crying or caring when life judges you....I just felt so separated from my cat in that moment and wasn't sure how she handle it without me cause we can all say it now...this virus stuff going on in the world can really F off. My cat is my world my first cat...my first blessing from beyond to show me what living really means...and to not be around my cat for the 5 to 10 mins was so rough. I'm glad I didn't do it alone because if I did I would be crying the entire time. If you loved someone or something in life...hold it and give it to god because the strength alone is hard doing it alone...I'm not saying just because I said god you have to believe god because I know in life not everyone believes god but the underlying love for good is there and that is the prevalent of god many haven't understood and we need in life. So anyways..I know others have gone through hell and back during this shut down but were not alone and haven't been for long time. We all hold something in our lives near and dear to us lets keep doing that cause we all know how selfish of life everyone can be. Thanks for reading. See ya.